36 Blessed Hours

From midnight Sunday to Tuesday morning, the world has experienced astonishing peace, justice, revelation, and irony.

Midnight Sunday: Martin Scorsese redeemed
The finest working director (sorry Clint) Martin Scorsese received the Oscar for "The Departed" - a veiled apology for years of insults (including Kevin Costner and "Gangs of New York") - next up: Leo...

Afternoon Monday: Christ discovered, un-reincarnated
James Cameron, yes another director, announced with dubious glee that a tomb has been found in Jerusalem with the remains of Jesus and his family. What? Wait... Isn't Christ at the right-hand of the Father? Hey, um, oh... Next thing they'll say is that the Pope is human, highly fallible and a former Nazi youth... Stupid Hollywood directors, how dare they?

Morning Tuesday: Cheney almost blown up
Dick "Last Throes" Cheney was nearly detonated by a suicide bomber at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan - the LAST time he leaves his secret undisclosed bunker... Interestingly, and though a mile away, this is the closest Cheney has come to combat in over 4 decades of "service" - including four tours of Vietnam avoided, Sec. of Defense under Ford, and CEO of Halliburton... Sadly, at least a dozen others weren't so lucky, including another U.S. soldier, murdered by the suicide bomber today, as Cheney cowered inside, checked his pacemaker, then grunted a vulgarity and continued with his mission to cut-up Iraq's oil reserves for his pals.

Next Up: The Scooter Libby jury will be formally disbanded, deemed "Classified" then secretly renditioned off to one of our Allies for heated questioning...