Thursday, December 28, 2006

Gerald Ford replaces Ronald Reagan as Greatest Fmr. President - George H.W. Bush and Jimmy Carter encouraged

The passing of President Gerald Ford, as well as his sudden elevation to "Greatest Former President" status, has given other former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Jimmy Carter new hope of receiving similar accolades after their own departure from the living world. Ronald Reagan, the former President, as well as former "Greatest Former President" title-holder, could not be reached for comment.

"Gerald Ford's sudden jump to 'Greatness' offers all one-term former presidents great hope," said one biographer of several self-published books about single-term presidents, who asked to remain anonymous due to poor sales of latest book on Herbert Hoover, adding, "Just think of how we will remember George H.W. Bush - The Carlyle Group and Saudi Royal family are chopping confetti as we speak..."

Though public viewings of Ford's corpse have been out-attended by those of singer James Brown's - who disrespectfully died hours before Gerald Ford - fans of former "Greatest" Presidents remain undeterred. Similarly, other former Presidents, who were never given credit as being "Great" while in office are encouraged by recent coverage and interviews focusing on the sudden greatness of former President Gerald Ford.

Summing the situation, another anonymous biographer of poor selling self-published books on two-term presidents, including the critically ignored and rather confusing work Grover Cleveland - Two Non-Sequential Terms to Ponder, offered, "Like the current president - and future 'Greatest Former President' - George W. Bush often says, history will be the judge, and the swell of emotion due to the death of any president will always override the realities of their actual time in office. This gives every president hope that some day, if even for one day, they too will be declared the 'Greatest.'"

Only former President Richard Nixon failed to receive the "Greatest Former President" title, but there is hope that history will judge him once more, mostly due to the recent spotlight put on Ford's pardoning of Nixon, as well as editing of history by Ford Administration staffers, including Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. Rumsfeld forwarded all requests for comment to the Iraq Study Group, while Cheney could not be reached at his secret, undisclosed isolation chamber.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant LOL
Great blog---The ONION got nuthin on you
Where can I buy your books?